Kookookachoo Mrs Robinson

Blindfolded and with my hands and feet tied to the four corners of the hotel bed, I lie and scream with pain and pleasure as my secret lover pulls my hair and pounds me. Tomorrow I’ll be back to suburbia: a wife, a mother, sweet and innocent. (Portland, Oregon, June 2008)

~G. Moone

Alexander Portnoy is Probably His Other Role Model

I work at a grocery store. My friend and I were in the back room loading a cart to stock bottled water. Our manager came back, and we talked about the new Batman movie. We told him he needed to see it. He said: “Well, the theaters are packed right now. I want to wait a little bit. I’m kinda like the guy that played Pee Wee Herman when I go see a movie.” And then he just walked away.

~Rob

Statistic: More Than 85 Percent of Grandmothers Are Not Virgins

A: As I walked up the steps towards my grandparents’ loft, I had no idea of the scars that I was about to inflict on myself. Moans, and screams emanated from above and heightened my curiosity. Just as my tiny hand reached for and opened the doorknob, my grandmother reached orgasm. Ugh.

~Rodney Southern